


deprivation

by philliebf



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Slow Dancing, Song: Like To Be You (Shawn Mendes), Swearing, Tour Fic, Verbal Fight, but i mean... hotel room sequel??? lemme know, dont bully me if its not angsty enough, its like really light angst team, no smut tho sorry, sex mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-07
Updated: 2018-08-07
Packaged: 2019-06-23 05:09:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15598992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/philliebf/pseuds/philliebf
Summary: dan and phil have been on tour in america for two months. the time they have to themselves is far and few between and it's started to get to them.





	deprivation

  
  


“Fuck off Phil. Just leave me alone,” Dan scoffed. 

 

He wasn’t facing Phil, but the second Phil put a hand on Dan’s shoulder he jerked his shoulder away. Dan would never know how such a simple action could break Phil’s heart. They had only grown more irritated with each other as the tour dragged on. They weren’t used to spending every waking moment together. In London, they had their separate spaces to recollect and calm down when they got annoyed with each other. This was not London though. This was two months in a bus surrounded by other people. Tensions between the two men ran high, it was only a matter of time before one of them cracked. 

 

“Bear, please I’m sorry I didn’t mean to snap at you,” Phil said in a soft whisper, worried if he spoke any louder his voice would break. 

 

This wasn’t their first fight, and it definitely wasn’t going to be their last. They both knew they could resolve it, but fighting never felt  _ good.  _ Neither of them felt good about the present situation. They both just needed to be  _ angry.  _

 

Dan turned quickly to face Phil, he was irritated and Phil could tell. Whenever Dan was upset like this Phil shied away, not knowing how to calm the younger man down. 

 

“Don’t do that!” Dan raised his voice. 

 

“Just give me one fucking minute! I need to be alone,” frustration leaked through Dan’s voice. 

 

Phil stood a little taller as if to seem unbothered, but Dan’s words hurt. Dan knew they hurt, his intention was never to hurt Phil. He just needed to be alone to think and if he hadn’t yelled at Phil, Phil would have never left him to himself to reevaluate the situation. 

 

Without another word, Phil turned to sit in the living area of the bus while Dan vacated to the back of the bus. 

 

Phil collapsed on the couch, luckily the crew wasn’t there to see their frustration. They had gone off to enjoy the day before the show began. Maybe that was where the problem stemmed? Dan and Phil couldn’t go anywhere or do anything without being noticed. They couldn’t openly be together and they could barely find a moment alone on the bus together. It had been nearly two weeks since they last had sex and probably a few days since their last kiss. 

 

They were stressed, touring the world was stressful. This week had been especially hard on Phil as they were performing six shows in a row. He was also in the works of editing two gaming videos and a main channel video. It was all things he could handle, but his pure exhaustion was getting the best of him. He just had to remind himself it was all worth it. There were thousands of people there to see him. He wished he could meet them all and hear how inspired they are, things like that kept him going. It made the fatigue worth it, but the tension and frustration, those were things he wished weren’t side effects of his weariness. 

 

He sighed heavily sinking into the couch more. He rubbed at his face hoping to take some of the exhaustion away. He closed his eyes just for a moment to think about the altercation between Dan and himself that had happened only a few minutes earlier.

* * *

 

He was finishing answering emails to various businesses regarding possible sponsorships when Dan had woken up. The crew was going to a nearby Zoo for the morning and Phil was hoping they could watch a few episodes Santa Clarita Diet before they needed to get ready for the meet and greet. Maybe they would be able to steal more than a few kisses from the other and talk about what they wanted to do on their day off. That was the hope at least. Dan had woken up as if he never slept. He was grumpy and impatient. 

 

“Morning Dan, How was your sleep?” Phil asked he had looked away from his emails glance at Dan. 

 

“Fine, I hate this bus. I can’t wait to be at a hotel tomorrow,” he replied lazily through a mouthful of granola bar. 

 

Phil hummed in response getting back to his emails. Dan sat on the couch next to Phil leaning on him just a bit. Even the slightest touch made Phil feel warm and connected to Dan. They no longer had the electricity and passion that started their relationship where they couldn’t keep their hands off each other. That was long gone, but what they did have was so much better. The love they shared was comforting and felt like home. It was ten years of life, but still being able to share stories and captivate the other. Phil felt so much more comforted by Dan just being around. No matter how stressed work was making him. 

 

Dan had begun to turn on the TV to Netflix and Phil was excited as that meant they would get some time to cuddle up and just relax. 

 

“Hey, let me just finish this email and we can watch something together,” Phil said.

 

He briefly leaned over to give Dan a kiss on the temple. Normally Dan would smile or hum in response, but he didn’t this time. Phil figured he was tired from being jerked around on the bus all night. 

 

Just as Phil was finishing the closing remarks on his last email he heard the familiar voices from Santa Clarita Diet. Annoyance grew in him as he had asked Dan to wait so they could watch together. 

 

“Dan I asked you to wait,” Phil said with a twinge of annoyance in his voice.

 

“You can still hear it. You don’t need to watch every second,” he responded in a rather irritated tone. 

 

“Don’t you think you’re being inconsiderate?” Phil shifted away from dan, turning his body to face him completely.

 

“Phil, it’s not a big deal. Calm down,” Dan said looking at him for the first time that morning. 

Dan turned off the TV, Phil knew this wasn't going to end well. 

 

“It’s typical and fucking annoying. That’s what it is,” He scoffed, closing his laptop and making his way to the bunks. Phil didn’t know why he had gotten so annoyed. He just was and Dan’s actions were selfish and had rubbed him the wrong way. 

 

“What’s wrong with you right now?! You know I’ve been working my ass off all week! You had like two sentences to finish. Christ,” Dan’s voice was now laced with annoyance toward Phil. 

 

Phil looked at Dan and could see how he had hurt dan with his previous statement. Dan wasn’t lazy. Phil knew that. He spoke out of annoyance and wanted to get a rise out of Dan. He knew Dan. He saw the way he was looking down. He knew that Dan’s stomach would be turning and his mind would be going to a dark place. He didn’t need Phil’s false accusation to weigh on him. The man he loved more than anything falling to a dark place and it was Phil’s fault. 

 

Phil’s voice softened, “Look, Dan, I’m sorry I didn’t mean it. I know you’ve been under a lot of pressure. I’m so sorry…”

 

Phil knew he had fucked up. He hadn’t realized how hard his word had hit Dan. Dan looked up at him, eyes glazed over with tears that threatened to spill. Phil knew how hard the past few months had been on Dan. He knew. And yet here they were. 

 

“Dan… I don’t…. I’m so sorry….” He trailed. 

 

_ “Fuck off Phil. Just leave me alone,” _

 

 

* * *

 

“Fuck,” Phil sighed. He had fucked up big time. 

 

‘ _ I’m sorry b, here’s a picture of a dog who is 1 thicc boi’  _ Phil texted Dan, attaching a picture of a fat corgi. 

 

He heard a small chuckle from the back of the bus. Phil took it as his opportunity to make up with Dan. He slipped his phone back into his pocket and made his way to the back of the bus. 

 

“Dan,” Phil stated as he entered the back room. 

 

Dan was sitting on the couch, Phil kneeled to be at the same level taking the younger boys soft and warm hands in his own. 

 

“Phil, look I’m sorry,” Dan started.

 

Phil shushed him lightly, not wanting him to continue. He would blame himself. 

 

“You have nothing to be sorry for, I was such a dick,” Dan was listening intently to Phil’s words.

 

“I am so tired, but that’s no excuse. I shouldn’t have said anything. I love you for a million reasons and one of them being you’re the hardest working person I know,” when Phil finished he brought Dan’s hands to his lips and kissed his knuckles gently. 

 

“Dance with me?” Dan asked, standing up pulling Phil with him. 

 

“Of course,”

 

Phil pulled his phone knowing exactly what song he wanted to play. When he pressed play Dan laughed hearing the first few chords. 

 

“Fitting,” he said. 

 

“This is a great Shawn Mendes song Dan,” Phil pulled Dan close wrapping his arms around his waist. 

 

_ ‘Don’t cry or do. Whatever makes you comfortable, I’m tired too.’  _

 

As the song played quietly in the background the two boys swayed together. Not really dancing. They were taking in the moment. Forgiving and forgetting the previous events of the morning. Dan’s arms hung loosely over Phil’s shoulders, he rested his head on Phil’s shoulder. Phil to a deep breath wishing this moment could last forever. Dan and Phil, lost in their own little world that only they truly knew. 

 

“I get worried… I might lose you a little… every time we argue and get caught up in the moment,” Phil sang softly along with the song. Directing every word at Dan. 

 

Dan lifted his head off Phil’s shoulder and looked him directly in the eye. Phil noticed his eyes were still a bit red from the tears that must have spilled a bit earlier. 

 

“I love you and don’t ever forget that,” Dan stated. 

 

Phil moved his hands and pushed a few stray curls from Dan’s forehead. His hand then found themselves resting on his neck. He pulled the younger man in, connecting their lips. 

 

It was electric. Dan’s lips were plump and slightly chapped, they moved expertly against Phil’s. They weren’t looking for lust or passion in this kiss. No one was fighting for dominance. It was soft and comforting. It was the kind of kiss that would make your heart feel warm and butterflies turn in your stomach. It was a physical understanding between the two men. A promise that the tour wouldn’t tear them apart but bring them together. It would define a new home for them, a home that moved where they did. Their lips moved together until they both pulled away for air. They smiled at each other not needing to express in words what they felt. The kiss was a sign of unwavering love. Proving to the other so much more than three words could ever uncover. 

 

“Two more shows,” Dan said. 

 

“Just two more,” Phil smiled.

 

"Can we go watch some Netflix please love?" Dan asked. 

 

"I wouldn't want to be doing anything else," Phil responded pulling Dan to the front Den. 

 

Six shows in a row wasn’t easy but it would be worth the day off where they could have their way with each other and spend the day wrapped in each other. A day where the tour, the fans and their lives outside a hotel room didn’t exist. Just Dan, Phil, and the sense of home they created together. 

**Author's Note:**

> i was listening to oh wonder and really just wanted to write a little slow dance scene. but like,,, idk i always find dancing after i am coming down from a strong emotion helps #justperformerthings 
> 
> come n talk to me!!! tell me what you liked!!!! thank you for reading i appreciate!!!!
> 
> philliebf.tumblr.com


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